The Chronicles of Kyoani Academy
by Alex McM
Summary: A mysterious university opens in the middle of nowhere and Haruhi thinks it's the perfect place to meet interesting people. She's certainly right. For the latest enrollments at Kyoani Academy include characters from Lucky Star, K-ON! Toradora, Haganai, Azumanga Daioh and heaps more! But why? How? We've followed their lives through High School, but now it is time for the next stage!
1. Prologue 1-1

**Chronicles of Kyoani Academy**

* * *

Hello readers new and old. So this story is one I've been slowly hatching for quite a while now. It's a big one. Frankly this crossover will involve _a lot _of different series. Originally it was just going to be Kyoto Animation stuff like K-ON! and Nichijou and Haruhi and Lucky Star but there will be plenty from Toradora and Haganai and Azumanga Daioh and Yuru Yuri and pretty much all the other school life anime I've watched so far. But since there are gonna be so many characters this story will be split between quite a few narrators but I'll try and make it as non-confusing as possible. Well that's all for now. Read on, enjoy and review!

* * *

**Prologue 1-1**

Winter is bad enough at the best of times. But throw in the usual (or should I say _un_usual) troubles of your average high-school student and you get a blizzard of strife one cannot simply escape. No, like the bears in the mountains all you can really do is hide in a dark place and wait out the winter chill. Well that's honestly what I'd love to do, but I can't. With the dwindling cold season so too did another school year come drawing to a close. But unlike the other years, this one was different.

We were in our third year.

As much as it pains me to admit it, my grades aren't much to be proud of. I'd not even considered college because...Well my track record wasn't exactly going to lead me very far. Whether that was from a lack of effort, or poor abilities or an absence of motivation, I cannot be sure. But I have a hunch that the main reason for my poor results was from an over-dependence on extra-curricular activities.

You see, early in the first year of high school I joined a club. No, actually I never joined it. Rather I was wrapped up and thrown in like a free gift with some large purchase. Of course I could have left the club, but for various reasons I was obliged to stay. What does this club do you might ask? Well don't look at me. Three years later and I still don't understand the point of anything we'd done.

Although our SOS Brigade (yes, that's really what it's called) has a secret most other clubs don't. Within our club are a couple of extraordinary people. And I don't mean that in the shallow 'they're better than you' kind of way. I mean to say that the other club member's real identities are quite literally out of this world.

Sitting across from me was the ever smiling esper, Itsuki Koizumi. And before you ask, no, it's not the Hollywood style of ESP where you can blow up stuff with your mind. It was much more complicated and strange. So much so that I lack to capacity to explain it. But that didn't stop Koizumi from maintaining the appearance of a Hollywood star.

We were playing shogi, and like every game we played in the club-room, Koizumi was utterly hopeless. But regardless of how stacked our wins and losses were he never stopped smiling that movie star smile, nor wish to stop playing, as if he were eternally optimistic that the next game might be his chance at last.

But it never came.

I won without question and as Koizumi prepared the next game I glanced aside to the window, where perched on a simple folded chair sat the SOS Brigades resident bookworm, Yuki Nagato. With the boundless energy of a plank of wood Nagato was never one to draw attention to herself, seemingly content in absorbing all of Earth's knowledge through sci-fi novels. In fact if I hadn't been aware beforehand that she was there in her usual spot then I may well have looked past her and never noticed. Not only was she quiet, but she seemed to be lacking any kind of aura as if she were more closely related to the chair she sat on than the people she was sitting with. Perhaps her alien behaviour could be attributed to the fact that she was apparently an alien.

But the fun doesn't stop there. Up until our third year, there had always been a beautiful maid brewing and serving us tea. Originally the task had been forced upon her, but somewhere along the way she had gotten accustomed to it and gone about her duties without complaint. With the body of a supermodel but the face of a child she was definitely, as one person had so eloquently put it, 'moe'. I'd never really understood what they had meant at first but it had not taken long to get the gist of it. Oh and in case you were wondering, Mikuru Asahina being a maid wasn't her special secret. That would have been pretty underwhelming wouldn't it? No the bumbling serving girl was actually a time traveller. If I hadn't gone with her various times I might not have believed it either but over the three years I'd been part of this deranged little club I'd uncovered more than enough evidence to say with absolute certainty that all three of these members were exactly what they said they were. An esper, a time traveller and an alien.

Sounds crazy right, but really none of these strange people would even exist without their catalyst. That person was none other than our club president, or should I say, Brigade Leader, Haruhi Suzumiya.

Now Suzumiya was strange in many ways. Too many to list here as it would fill up every single page of this story and we'd never get past this prologue. I'd probably still be adding to the list on my deathbed, or perhaps even yours. So let me make this quick in saying that Haruhi Suzumiya is eccentric not only with a capital 'e', but also the 'ccentric'. Anything weird you can think of she's probably done and even the things you can't think of she's probably done too. Trust me, I'd know.

If I were to go so far as suggesting her weirdness had gotten to a point where organisations across time and space had begun to deify her as some supreme being of unimaginable power, oddly enough I wouldn't be lying.

So yeah, your average student life is just the tip of the iceberg for me. And as you would imagine being in a club with a bunch of otherworldly oddballs is quite taxing. I mean, would you be able to study under such conditions?! I think not!

Especially when Haruhi, who has the power to alter the world through her own subconscious desires, could at any moment destroy the world all because of a bad day. As such our club's more practical activities revolve around keeping our Brigade Leader happy no matter what to ensure mankind's continued survival.

Sounds kind of heroic right? But the reality of playing baseball and making a low budget failure of a movie and going on holidays as missions really dampens the image. Essentially, what Haruhi wants, we all do.

That is where our story begins. You see being in our third year, naturally the topic of college and their subsequent entrance exams arose in conversation more so than usual. So much in fact that I could no longer avoid the inevitable and had to come to a decision.

Considering I'd gone through school just barely keeping my head above water it had never occurred to me to even try to go to college, but a certain someone who I might have mentioned earlier had other plans entirely.

"Hey Kyon!"

Oh right, that's me if you were wondering.

Haruhi had been sitting at her desk on the sole computer in the clubroom. Like any other day she was probably just surfing the net and doing absolutely nothing, but every so often she called upon me for no better reason than to tell me some obscure fact she'd found on a forum or a strange news story like a fish caught with a live frog in its stomach or something stupid like that. I sighed and prepared myself for the worst as she set her fiery gaze upon me.

"Have you heard about that new university opening up next year?"

"No." I might as well be honest.

With a scowl she returned her attention to the page, somehow finding her smile again along the way. "It's so weird. They've built it in the mountains. But there are plenty of universities in the city so why put one in the middle of nowhere?"

How the hell should I know? What does it matter anyway?

"Of course it matters!" she snapped.

"Well, perhaps the fact that there are already a lot of universities around suggests that maybe they need to build more to fit in more students?"

Haruhi seemed to take my answer with a chagrined expression which quickly contorted into anger. "That kind of thinking will get you nowhere in life!"

Oh, I'm sorry. How foolish of me to use common sense.

"There's got to be something up with the location! Maybe they're secretly going to study the effects of some new military weapon on a group of unsuspecting students?!"

Yeah...Or maybe they're gonna train us to pilot giant robots to save the earth. I mean for god's sake, how old are you?!

Haruhi waved her finger at me and frowned, turning her nose up as you would at a foul smell, "You've got a long way to go just yet Kyon. I'd have liked to have promoted you at least once before we graduate but you're still as naive as you were when you joined us here as a first year."

I didn't join you! You abducted me like you did every other member of this screwed up brigade! Oh whatever it's not like you're even listening to me anyway, you're much too busy listening to those broken cogs grinding around inside your head.

"So what about this supposedly mysterious university has you so worked up anyway?" I asked, albeit reluctant to continue on the subject, "Are you thinking of applying?"

I'd guessed that was her intention from the very beginning, but the dumbfounded expression on her face as I let those foolish words spill from my mouth said otherwise. Looking as if I'd just rattled off some deeply profound piece of wisdom Haruhi stared back at me in shock.

On reflex I shrank back in my seat and glanced over to Koizumi to check and see if he was still smiling. He seemed oddly eager for something but I didn't question it, turning back to Haruhi who was attacking the computer with uncalled for aggression.

"Of course! Of course! It's a sign!"

Huh? You get another of those annoying pop-ups again?

For a split second I felt an intense glare, but after blinking I could only see a bright and beaming smile on Haruhi's face.

"No, you idiot! It's a sign! This new university is out in the middle of nowhere, right? It's the perfect place to study if you so happened to be an alien! I bet it'll be full of all kinds of interesting creatures!"

Please use the word 'people' next time. It's a place of learning, not a farm.

"You're missing the point! If I enrol there I'm bound to come across an esper or two. Who knows maybe the staff are all secretly time travellers trying to teach students from the past how to stop the apocalypse a thousand years into the future!" At some point during her rant Haruhi stood up on her chair and spread her arms wide as if she could take flight with a strong enough breeze.

I sighed and tried to return to my game with Koizumi but the sound of hammering fists on a tabletop unfortunately stole my attention.

"What now?"

"I have an announcement to make as leader of the SOS Brigade!" Shooting to her feet, our so called leader skipped up to the whiteboard against the wall and scribbled madly. The words 'Special announcement!' were written unnecessarily large inside a hastily drawn cloud or bubble of whatever the hell it was she was aiming for.

A strong desire to just go home and have a nap suddenly took hold but Haruhi staring directly at me made it difficult to lapse out of concentration. Thus helpless and cornered I simply sat back and waited not so expectantly for her proclamation.

"This is a special day for the SOS Brigade. Thanks to all of you we have come so very far from our humble beginnings as a mere club."

What part of stubbornly creating an officially unrecognised group, hijacking an existing club's room and abducting members is supposed to be humble? Our history is more akin to that of a terrorist cell than an extracurricular club. In the eyes of the other students our 'humble brigade' is as debauched as the Marquis de Sade!

Naturally I said none of the above out loud. I wouldn't live till graduation if I had...

And so Haruhi simply prattled on. "In a few short years we have become famous among our peers and indeed the world! This is only the first step towards something truly great! And as our final year draws to an end I can only look forward to a new beginning! For I will hereby expand the SOS Brigade into this new academy!"

Shall I hold my applause until the end of time?

Haruhi glanced around the room with a creepy smile reminiscent of a mother admiring how much her children had grown. Coming from someone like her, the image was so ill fitting it was painful to watch. But after looking to each of us in turn she once again spread her arms like wings and declared far too loudly, "But to do so, I'll need help! I know I can't force you to enrol at the same Academy, but I would be ever so grateful if you could lend me your time every now and then to assist in managing the new and improved SOS Brigade!"

My jaw dropped. Not because of any kind of implications in her words, but for the mere fact that she used the phrase 'I would be ever so grateful' rather than outright extorting us. In a really sad way that was somehow touching.

Of course when the hype died down Koizumi exchanged a subtle nod and the real message became clear. Just because high school would soon be at an end didn't mean that our job of keeping Haruhi in check would suddenly be over too. Yes, just because she was almost old enough to go to university doesn't mean she isn't too old to be left without a proverbial babysitter.

As much as I tried to hide it, a massive sigh escaped me and a phrase I had not uttered in quite some time found its way to the tip of my tongue, slipping out before I was even aware of its presence.

"Oh brother..."

Haruhi shot a glare my way and frowned, "What? I asked nicely!"

"I know," I groaned, "but what you're asking is ridiculous isn't it? You want us to travel all the way to this Academy of yours just to help manage the Brigade. Wouldn't it just be easier if we all enrolled in the same place?"

The silence that preceded my words was absolute.

Inevitably I realised the gravity of what I'd said but by then it was already too late. The light bulb was already sparking above Haruhi's head and that evil smile was spreading quickly across her face. Without even knowing I'd sentenced myself to a terrible fate.

"Kyon, that's a great idea! But are you sure? Were there any other places you wanted to go to?"

I wasn't even going to try in the first place...

Koizumi seamlessly flicked back his hair and shrugged like some daytime drama star. "To be honest I had not decided yet either. But all universities offer much the same so I see no problem in sticking together."

Everyone turned to Nagato who was still reading unperturbed since the beginning. Feeling eyes upon her she glanced up and without the slightest hint of enthusiasm said, "Very well."

Once again Haruhi surprised me by squealing like a girl half her age and running to embrace everyone but me. I simply got a pat on the shoulder.

"Great! Since we've come so far already why should we split up now? But in order for this to work we all need to give our all for the entrance exams!"

I get the feeling everyone is looking at me...

"What?" I asked, feeling guilty for even trying to play dumb.

Haruhi stabbed a pointed finger my way and she looked angry, "Kyon, what are you doing this Saturday?"

Taken slightly aback I shrugged, "Well I was thinking maybe I could-"

"Don't care!"

Then why did you ask?

"On Saturday we're having a study session to help Kyon pass the exams!"

Koizumi gave a thumbs up as if he were in some toothpaste commercial and Nagato's head bobbed enough to classify it as a nod. There was no backing out of this one...

"Excellent! We'll meet at your place at ten o'clock! Don't be late!"

It's _my_ house! How can I be late?!

With a devious smirk Haruhi said, "We'll see."

And with those ominous words, so began my desperate mission to go to university.


	2. Prologue 2

**Prologue 2**

Four friends sat around a kotatsu, mountains of textbooks and papers scattered about (Isn't that a fire hazard?) You'd be forgiven for thinking such a scene depicted quite a serious study session, serenaded by the scratching of pens on paper and the rhythmic flicking of pages rising above the low electric hum of the kotatsu.

Unfortunately...

"Hey, what's the answer to this one?"

"Oh come on I just told you how to do the last one! Work it out for yourself! It's not like I can give you hints during the actual test you know? You have to learn to do it for yourself!"

"Yeah, I know, but that's the exam. This is now. So tell me the answer!"

"I said no! Honestly do you even care about these exams? Or your future?"

"Of course I do! That's why I want to know the answer to this one."

"All you've been doing is copying my answers! At some point you're gonna have to learn to do it by yourself!"

"That's what the night before is for, right?"

"What?! You can't just cram for an entrance exam! This is serious!"

Two of the friends were uh...'Passionately discussing their coursework' while the others watched on with warm smiles. The scene was a familiar one to them all and though to anyone else it would seem the group couldn't stand one another they had been the best of friends since their first year of high school.

The serious one, a girl with blunt trailing pigtails and narrowed eyes was named Kagami Hiiragi. Taking on the leadership role simply because no-one else would, she tried her best to bring her friends into line, but that wasn't the easiest of tasks considering the calibre of such friends.

Her spaced out twin sister Tsukasa nibbled mouse-like at a muffin while watching the others bickering. Her short neat hair bobbed as she laughed and the oversized ribbon in her hair swayed like a dancing cobra (but much cuter) Having no particularly strong qualities she happily allowed herself to be swept along by her successful twin. And being in a group with one of the few people who could be classed as worse than her at things like academics served some consolation for living in Kagami's shadow.

The reserved and regal looking girl with long fluffy hair and large round glasses was the academic ace, Miyuki Takara. Like most gatherings she quietly went along with the other's childishness, fondly smiling and watching over them like a proud parent. Though she lacked the wild-streak for the others she had plenty of fun just tagging along for the ride.

And of course, like any group, there's always the wild one. The problem child...

Buried under a tangled mop of unkempt knee-length hair there peered wide green eyes which seemed to focus on nothing at all. With much of her tiny, wiry frame wrapped in the blanket of her messy hair she didn't exactly fit the image of the group. In fact there weren't many places she would fit in. Not her... Konata Izumi was something of an enigma. Devoid of passion for anything other than anime and games she led a life her friends could scarcely understand and yet for reason unknown to them they still remained close. A closet otaku if she didn't go around blatantly boasting about her hobbies, Konata seemed to pride herself more on her knowledge of anime than she did on her knowledge of...practical things...

Naturally, her laziness and lack of enthusiasm where it is more often needed made Kagami and Konata appear more like natural enemies. The endless quarrels and quarries only serve as mounting evidence of that. However, defying those natural laws, the two still hang out and stay in touch every day. One of the great mysteries of the world...

This unlikely group were in the midst of studying for their entrance exams. In a fit of constantly recurring Deja Vu, Miyuki and Kagami were the only ones motivated to learn while Tsukasa struggled and Konata simply refused to try.

Sparks flew between the ever fighting pair of Konata and Kagami and the welcome side-show was cathartic to the others. Three long years of this ever-recurring scene suggested that neither would cool down for some time and so it was unanimously declared time for a break.

"Honestly, why are you even doing this test?" Kagami groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration. After all, arguing with Konata was like arguing with a brick wall (albeit with a far worse attitude) "It seems pointless to continue your studies when you never actually started to begin with."

"Oh Kagami, it has nothing to do with studying!" Konata explained, nodding to herself.

"Huh? Then why bother?"

The indecipherable young girl stuck out her chest with pride and smiled. Before she had even given her reason Kagami was already burying her head in her hands and grumbling irritably. Any time Konata struck such a pose something profoundly stupid was bound to arise.

"Isn't it obvious? You can't properly finish off a school drama without the tension of college entrance exams! It would be boring if the characters just graduated and got jobs."

…

Times like these made Kagami regret being the straight man.

"Wait, are you telling me the only reason you're applying for university is because that's what they do in anime?"

Konata nodded with a proud smile.

Kagami glared at her, her dark pupils floating in a sea of dull white poison.

Taking the ensuing silence as a chance to join in Tsukasa leaned over onto the table, resting her head on a makeshift pillow of textbooks, "You're right though, they always take the test. And there's always that one person that seems like they would fail, but in the end they always pass! I like that. I'd be sad if they didn't make it..."

"They're not _real _people!" Kagami snapped, still struggling to wrap her head around the previous bombshell. "And of course they all pass, it's a TV show! But this is real life. They don't just let everyone pass because they're all friends! You have to really work hard and study."

Abashed, Tsukasa frowned, her ribbon drooping like a wilting flower. "Sorry sis..."

The other one, however, was much harder to convince.

"Come now Kagamin, being all pessimistic and stuff will just get you demoted to a background character. They won't even give you a back-story."

"What are you talking about?!"

Miyuki hid a giggle behind her soft white hands. As usual the only one getting agitated appeared to be the group's designated older sister. It goes without saying that the study session didn't progress very far. After another hour of arguing in circles the girls called it a day and returned home feeling as lost as they had been before they met to study.

* * *

The last batch of mock exams were returned to the students at Ryouo high. Although it was no surprise, an obligatory array of awed exclamations surrounded the schools undoubted genius, Miyuki. Her results were, as ever at the top of the class and she was given a 90% chance of being accepted to her chosen university. Half-hearted applause and congratulations echoed through the classroom while those on the fringe of the group quietly lamented their own underwhelming results.

Sitting beside Miyuki, Tsukasa anxiously glanced over her own papers. With her head turned aside she squinted out the corner of one eye at the numbers scrawled across the front of the sheet in bright red ink. Although she couldn't quite make them out, the presence of two digits was promising. After taking a deep breath she shot forward, burying her nose in the paper.

"Aww...It says 40%...Is that...Is that good?"

Konata patted her dejected friend on the back and smirked, "Don't worry, they're just numbers. In the end, if you suck you'll fail and that's all there is to it!"

Tsukasa slowly looked up, her eyes glistening with tears. "Wha...?"

"Ah, I didn't mean..." Konata cried, "Look you might be _bad, _but you don't _suck_. See? So you should be fine!"

That pitiful excuse for an excuse miraculously worked. Tsukasa's face lightened up and the ribbon in her hair seemed to puff out a little.

But just as it seemed to have worked, Tsukasa wailed loud enough to garner the attention of the entire class.

"No, don't cry! Tsukasa, it'll be okay! There's always someone worse off than you, remember. All you have to do is beat them and you're sure to make it!"

This managed to stall her tears for the time being. Looking up with little lambs eyes Tsukasa quietly asked, "What did you get?"

Without words, Konata thrust her paper towards her friend and once again revealed a content smirk and an odd sounding laugh. "Read it and weep!"

She'd gotten a 60% chance.

Tsukasa did indeed read it and weep.

While the students mulled over their uncertain futures lunch quickly sprang up and soon mobs of downtrodden students were marching about amidst the jittery chatter of their more optimistic and talented peers.

Tsukasa had gone hoarse from her uncontrollable sobbing and had run out of steam, simply sniffling and making the occasional odd noise while her two close friends stroked her back and said soothing nothings to calm her down.

"Although it might look grim a 40% chance is actually quite good." So sayeth Miyuki the wise one with a reassuring smile. "That's close to a one in two chance of succeeding and so conversely you can look at it this way. You're just as likely to pass as you are to fail."

Tsukasa rubbed at her eyes and let out a trembling whimper. "R-really?"

"Yes. Rather than looking at the glass as half empty, one can see the glass as half full. In fact," Miyuki explained, raising a finger like an elementary school teacher, "studies show that simply being confident and optimistic in these sorts of situations will often stack the results in your favour. So as long as you believe in yourself you should be able to pass."

A trace of a smile returned to the frail girl's face and a faint chuckle escaped her. "I guess I just have to study harder."

"That's the spirit." Miyuki said in her motherly way.

The crisis was averted.

Until...

"Waaaaaaahh!"

The door to the classroom nearly fell of its hinges as a figure barrelled through, stooped over like a footballer making a charge, making a b-line for Konata and the others. She stumbled and fell short, landing sprawled out over a desk, hair cascading about her face like messy streamers.

"Why?! Why?! I did everything right! I studied every night!"

Kagami wasn't in the highest of spirits if it weren't obvious enough to tell from the crying fit. She bawled madly, her test clenched between white-knuckled fingers. Wordlessly Konata snatched the test away from her and backed up a few paces to read in relative peace. A damning 30% adorned the top of the first page under which the words 'Needs improvement. Keep trying.' were scrawled in the same deep red ink.

"Whoa! Kagami bombed!"

Kagami wept quite loudly, all through lunch until inevitably Kuroi-sensei had to escort her back to her own classroom.

That night Kagami organised an emergency study session and this time she swore to ignore Konata's distractions at all costs.


	3. Prologue 1-2

**Prologue 1-2**

She said to meet at 10. That was the plan. I couldn't possibly be late right? We're meeting at my house after all. Well you see...Haruhi has a way of making the impossible possible. It was barely past eight o'clock when I heard a rumble downstairs. I decided to ignore it since it was most likely my little sister being her usual hyperactive self. With a weak shrug I rolled onto my side and stared at the window, or more accurately the curtain covering said window. It was a dull beige colour and it wasn't in any way interesting, but for whatever reason it was keeping me semi-awake.

Then it struck me. There was another sound coming from outside the window. If my ears weren't playing tricks on me then there was something like muffled grumbling and cursing beyond those dull uninteresting curtains. But there are several things wrong with that; the least of which is the fact my room is on the second floor of the house and there is nothing outside the window other than a long unforgiving drop to the ground.

Curiosity got the better of me and I shuffled over to the window, parting the curtains only to come face to face with a figure perched right outside. A pair of round black eyes stared right back and for a moment I was at a loss for words. The person outside struggled to adjust their position, precariously balanced on the windowsill.

The very moment my lips parted to utter a cry of alarm the figure outside raised a finger to their mouth, which was hidden behind a black muffler to look like a ninja mask, and signalled for quiet. Despite every fibre of my being protesting against it I complied with a nod and unlocked the window. With a level of care I'd never seen before, the mad morning visitor slowly opened the window while constantly shifting their weight. The windowsill was barely three inches wide and yet the lunatic appeared perfectly composed as they squatted there, just barely planted on their toes. I silently prayed for the window to open as fast as possible just to let the damn fool in and avoid catastrophe.

When at last there was a sizeable gap I reached out and lent them a hand crawling through into my room. For several seconds there was an absolute silence between us and then Haruhi flashed her 'mission accomplished' smile and said, "Good morning!"

* * *

From what I could gather from the overly pointless explanation given by the maniacal Brigade Chief, she had decided to start the study session early, but not wanting to disturb my family by knocking on the door and causing a fuss, she had climbed up to my room to get me to unlock the front door and let everyone in.

Of course I explained that all she needed to do was send me a message or call but she simply glared at me and said, "That's not fun!"

As usual, she wasn't getting the point at all and so I gave up and led everyone to my room.

Koizumi smiled as ever, unperturbed by the morning chill and Nagato remained reserved and quiet. For the most part the only one talking was Haruhi, spouting a mixture of unhelpful pep talks and hints that were practically common knowledge. I spent more time trying to tune out to her ranting and going through the pile of textbooks that had mounted up around me.

After a while Haruhi took a break and took to the back seat while Koizumi took me through some maths problems. I understood half of what he said and had no choice but to ignore what I didn't just to keep up with his rapid-fire lessons. Whether or not he had even noticed I can't say, but from the look of it he just enjoyed explaining things regardless of whether they be complex equations or the mysteries of the universe.

When he'd gone through enough problems to turn my brain inside out Nagato went over the science part of the exam. There was no hope of picking up even a shred of information there but it was somewhat fascinating to hear Nagato speak so many words in a row. Although she sounded like a bored news reporter as facts simply spilled out of her, there was a barely perceptible sense of passion that was oddly heart-warming. But being an alien I guess it's natural to be interested in science. And considering how many of those brick-sized sci-fi novels she reads it's kind of to be expected. Nonetheless it still came as a nice surprise.

By the end of professor Nagato's lecture even Haruhi was lost. As she fought to comprehend what she'd just heard she eventually just shook her head and announced it time for a break.

Exhausted, I collapsed onto the table and let out a sigh that had been building up since the very start of our little study session. Letting it go free gave a feeling of relief. I couldn't help but wonder about Miss Asahina, the missing member of our club. I wasn't even sure if she was still in this time plane. She might have gone back to her time to wait for us to catch up to college, or maybe she really was studying somewhere, giving her all now that she's free of the maid costumes and manual labour forced upon her in the club room. What would she have taught me if she were here? A shame tea preparation isn't a subject on the entrance exams; she'd be an invaluable tutor for that.

One thing is certain though. If Asahina were here she'd have gone skipping off to the kitchen to make us tea right about now.

"Hey!" Haruhi snapped, "Don't fall asleep yet Kyon! We've only just started!"

I glanced up at the clock and noticed that it was only then ten o'clock, the original time we were supposed to meet up. I didn't mention it to Haruhi but I'm sure she saw me look up at the wall in frustration and got the hint.

She rolled her eyes and sat down across from me, her expression softening from her usual scowl, but not enough to disguise the fact she was still technically scowling. "Look, if we don't all make it then our efforts will have been for nothing. The SOS Brigade just won't be the same."

What about Asahina? She's been gone almost a full year now and you haven't even so much as mentioned her since.

"Oh, I keep in touch with Mikuru. I thought everyone did too." She glanced around at the others. Nagato gave no response but Koizumi's smile perked up a notch or two. Haruhi snapped back to me with a frown. "Haven't you spoken to her at all?"

I tried to stay tight lipped about it, but silence was equally damning. With a groan I shook my head and tried to avoid Haruhi's intense glare.

"I can't believe you'd just cast aside poor little Mikuru like that! You better apologise or I'll never forgive you!"

"But I don't know her phone number or even where she lives..."

"Mere excuses!"

Actually they're pretty valid points. If I don't know where to contact her then-

"Alright! Break over!"

Ugh! I should have seen that one coming. As much as I wished to protest, there was no getting out of this one. My academic misgivings had brought me to this point and I was also the one to feed Haruhi the idea of all of us going to the same university. I'd unconsciously made my bed and so now came the time to lie in it. At the very least I might learn something useful, even if it doesn't apply to any of the exams. And so reluctantly I returned to study knowing full well this would be a long day.

* * *

I certainly wasn't wrong. Haruhi had stayed over much longer than I thought she would. It was only when the sky had turned a vibrant shade of red, playing peek-a-boo from behind distant mountains, that she decided to call it a day. My brain was fried and both legs had cramped up from staying seated for so damn long. It took all the strength of one hand to pry the pen out of the other and even with the writing tool gone the fingers remained locked in place.

Haruhi let out a long yawn and stretched her arms high above her head. The way her eyes clouded over as she did so was unusually absorbing but it took little time at all for them to harden into a cold stare to match the thin line frown of her mouth.

"What?"

"Nothing." I lied, "It's just the first time I've ever seen you yawn. I didn't think you ever actually got tired."

Haruhi grinned, "A true leader doesn't show their fatigue around their subordinates." I neglected to mention what that implied and simply nodded as if learning a profound bit of wisdom. "But even so," she added, "I'm only human..."

…

I laughed.

I laughed louder and harder than I'd ever done in a very long time. So long in fact that I couldn't even remember what had last caused me to absolutely lose it like that. Doubled over and gasping for air, my eyes watered. It took far too long to regain my composure and in that time everyone had turned to stare at me as if I'd voided my bowels in front of them.

Naturally of course, Haruhi was the first to speak.

"Hmph. That's the first time I've ever heard you laugh. I didn't think you had a sense of humour."

The words hit like arrows to the chest and suitably I was put in my place and returned to my usual reserved quietude. Unfortunately that seemed to be Haruhi's cue to laugh and Koizumi, whom had simply been smiling along in the background joined in as well. Nagato didn't even flinch but the air around her seemed to soften a little.

Eventually my smile returned and as if obeying some unspoken rule, enough time had passed for me to laugh at the slight as well, albeit with noticeable warmth in my face. After so many tedious hours of mental strain it felt good to laugh. I'd never concentrated so hard before in my life and at some point the balance needed to be struck. Even if it was at my expense I couldn't care less. Everything usually is in the end anyway and I'd long since gotten accustomed to it. Besides I've been the butt of much more dangerous and terrifying jokes before. Jokes with catastrophic punchlines. This is nothing when you've faced possible extinction before.

A strong sense of relief washed over, knowing that the study session hadn't been a complete waste. Whether or not I'd actually pass the exam was another matter entirely, but this would at least allow me to go out in a blaze of glory. I hadn't been entirely pleased with the prospect of furthering my studies at first. But spending the day with the SOS Brigade like this, without any world-altering madness or time-travelling chaos...It made me realise that as strange as these guys are, they are my closest friends in this world and the next and truth be told, I don't want to part ways so soon.

If it'll grant me another few years of fun with time travellers and aliens and espers then I'll do all I possibly can to pass the entrance exam!

* * *

The SOS Brigade put a hold on its usual activities for a while and each and every day was spent studying for the imminent exams. It had taken up more than half of my day as even at home I'd spend hours reading through textbooks and making notes. Many a time it got boring and even more often it would become quite irritating, but with the blazing cauldron of desire now fuelling my efforts, the pain was considerably worthwhile. Stopping short of burning out each night I managed to double my score in the last mock exam. I still wasn't guaranteed to make it, but there was a chance, a thin flicker of hope and I clung to it for dear life.

In the back of my mind I considered the possibility that Haruhi could simply wish I passed and that would be the end of it, but living with that guilt for the rest of my life would be unimaginably soul crushing. I vowed to do my best and pass on my own.

And failing that, _then _I'd call on Haruhi...

But hopefully it won't come to that...

I knocked on the wooden table just to be sure.


	4. Prologue 3

**Prologue 3**

The noise was deafening. The footpath was so crowded with students, rushing like lemmings towards the school gates. Yui could barely see where she was walking, her nose buried in another students back as she waddled about like a penguin caught in a stampede. She would have backed up a little if it weren't for the fact that someone else was breathing down her neck right behind her. The push of the crowd had quickly led her astray and in a moment of panic Yui burst out to the side, knocking down the poor unfortunate girl herded alongside her. As the two tumbled and fell the wall of bodies around them hardly shifted. Skirt hems fluttered through her hair and coat tails scratched her face. Yui apologised to the girl she'd knocked down but the collective chatter of so many students drowned her out entirely. With a curt bow she helped the girl up and watched her get pulled along by the human current once again. Fighting the waves she waded through until she reached the roadside and at last she leaned against a bike rack to catch her breath.

It was the start of a new year and at last, after months of waiting, the results for the entrance exams were in. Yui had organised to meet up with her friends to check them together, but seeing the vast numbers of students packing the walkway she began to doubt whether she could even find them.

Standing precariously on the bike rack Yui peered over the countless heads in the crowd and spotted a head of luxuriously long blonde hair. With a beaming smile Yui waved her hands and shouted to her friend Mugi, who fortunately overheard the commotion and glanced her way. She smiled back and tried to wave but her arms were tucked in to her side by those surrounding her. Yui observed the titanic struggle as the polite and quiet Mugi tried to squeeze out of her ever moving prison. When at last she was out in the open air she hunched over and let out a deep sigh.

"How exhilarating!" she exclaimed, breathless. "That was so much fun! I couldn't move at all!"

Yui let out a brief chuckle. Mugi had always been a strange one. Being the daughter of a rich family she had lived a sheltered life. As such she had a knack for finding the fun side to things that definitely aren't.

"I can still smell that other girl's perfume..." Yui muttered making a show of dramatically sniffing the air. "There are so many people here, I thought I was lost!"

"I know, I know!" nodded Mugi, "I could have ended up anywhere if you had not called out! But now that we're talking about it, I just want to go back in there again!"

Again Yui let out a short laugh. "Maybe we should wait for the others first."

"We could go find them!" Mugi suggested, her eyes alight with excitement. "We'll go the opposite way to everyone else and track the others down!"

Not used to being the mature one in any situation Yui conceded to what sounded like a fun idea and together they dived back into the throng and made slow progress back the way they had come. It wasn't much of a surprise to find the two girls instantly separated and isolated amongst the mob. With rapid fire apologies streaming in endless succession Yui fought the tide and managed to find a slipstream of empty space. She bolted for it with such speed that the incoming figure of another trying to seize the opportunity had no time to avoid her. Together they clashed heads and tumbled into the fray. Those around them simply stepped over them or treated them as part of the pavement. Several times Yui felt the crushing weight of feet on her fingers and toes and hurriedly curled up in a ball. The other girl similarly huddled up beside her and cautiously peeked out from under overgrown sandy blonde bangs. The one eye visible beneath the mess of hair glared at Yui and from beneath the mop a snarl emerged.

"My headband! Hurry and help me find it!"

Yui hadn't heard her clearly and simply stared back in awe at the mysterious looking girl. With a disgruntled sigh the other girl grabbed a handful of her unruly hair and pulled it up over the top of her head, revealing a wide forehead and narrow eyes.

"Hey!" she snapped.

Seeing that forehead, everything instantly clicked and Yui snapped to attention, scanning the ground for her friend Ritsu's trademark yellow headband. Through the forest of feet she spotted a glimpse of yellow and made her move. Crawling on all fours she lunged for it, but her hand was kicked away by someone tripping over her, leaving Yui to flop to the ground like a beached fish. Once again she tried to make her way over to the stray headband but the marching students cut her off. With a desperate cry she extended her hand, despairing for the poor headband, when at last someone stooped to pick it up. Neat black pigtails trailed across the ground as a small girl reached for the item in question. She let out a yelp as people stepped on her aforementioned pigtails and despite being blameless in the ordeal she frantically apologised to her tormentors. Groping the ground she managed to get a hold of the headband just as a solid leather boot came crunching down upon it. With a terrible crack the headband snapped under the weight of the boot and so the small girl managed to only retrieve one half before fighting her way to the others.

Yui snatched the girl's collar and dragged her into the narrow gap where Ritsu was anxiously fidgeting with her hair. The small girl revealed the fragment of the headband and bowed deeply. Ritsu had to once again pry her hair away from her face to inspect her accessory. When the situation finally dawned on her, something in her eyes faded and an empty sigh escaped her.

The trio escaped back onto the road and waited for Mugi to return.

Azusa, the smallest of the group, once again bowed in shame before her sempai and begged for forgiveness. With a non-committal grunt Ritsu shrugged it off and resumed picking at her bangs. Yui gazed down at her hands, red and sore from being stomped on and kicked. No longer caring for her marks in the exam she desired nothing more than to just go home and sleep away the pain.

After a few minutes Mugi indeed returned, dragging an exhausted friend behind her. Mio quietly patted herself down, mumbling something to herself about how awful her ordeal had been. The others ignored her though they all sympathised with her having braved the crowd themselves.

Together they waited until much of the group had left before daring to make a dash for the ranking board outside the school's main building.

* * *

"I can't see! Mio can you see it?"

"Ah! Stop climbing on me!"

"Am I up there?"

"Aw, those people at the front are way too tall..."

The girls had finally reached the board out the front of the school; however a good dozen or so others still retained a human wall between them and the result listings. Azusa, being the smallest of the group had deigned to simply sit back and wait, however the tension of not knowing her sempais' fate gnawed away at her and inevitably she became restless. Yui, being unable to stay calm and collected in any situation was madly scrambling up Mio's back in a vain attempt to sit on her shoulders and peer over the heads of those in front. For all her efforts though, Mio fought back, shrugging her wild friend off while teetering on the tips of her toes to see the board. Still, Ritsu was stuck playing with her overly long bangs, her cheeks bright red from embarrassment and a decent share of anger. Mugi just stood quietly behind them all, a smile ever present on her face and an air of absolute patience and serenity emanating around her.

After what felt like an eternity the front row peeled to the sides and a space opened up at long last. Yui shot off like a bullet seizing the blank spot and clearing room for her friends to shuffle up alongside. Together they all took deep dramatic breaths before glancing up at the board.

Mio quickly teared up. "I made it...I really did it!"

"Congratulations!" Mugi patted her on the shoulder and craned her neck back to the board. "Looks like we've got another few years together. How wonderful!"

The five eclectic girls were all members of their high school's light music club. Even more so, they were all members of the band Houkagou Tea-Time. Through thick and thin they had managed to cement a name for themselves in the local area. Unfortunately with graduation came the looming fear of having to disband. Their solution had been to all aim for the same university and keep the band running with the light music club there. With Mugi and Mio crossed off the list and Azusa only in her second year of high school, all that was left were the problem children...

Yui and Ritsu. Neither had a knack for academics and throughout the final months of their third year it had been those two that had threatened to ruin their plan. After enough nagging and begging the girls had properly knuckled down and tried their best, though they all feared it might have been too little too late. At last it was time to see if it had paid off.

Ritsu could barely see the board past her overgrown hair but struggled on regardless. Arm in arm with her partner in crime they scanned the list of names, more nervous than they'd ever felt up on stage. Suddenly Yui's body shuddered in Ritsu's arms and an indescribable squeak sounded from her. Losing her footing, Yui collapsed to her knees and continued making strange sounds.

"What's wrong?"

"Are you alright?"

The mature members helped her up and quickly noted the look of disbelief on Yui's face. A long low laugh rippled from the weak-kneed girl and as if given a shot of adrenaline she leapt to her feet and cheered.

"Ahahaha! I did it! I passed! Yay!"

The others joined her, overjoyed to find that the biggest risk factor in their plan had passed the test. A group hug was in order and together they cheered for their success. The girls congratulated one another and then took a photo of themselves standing before the board before rushing to their local cafe for some well overdue tea and cake.

* * *

"I can't believe it's really happening..." Mio muttered, staring down into her cup of tea.

"It was destiny!" Ritsu cried in poorly pronounced English. The others chuckled but Mio gave her idiotic friend a playful smack to the back of the head. Having been together for so long the manzai act between the two had become so natural and seamless neither truly noticed it any more. The others however still got a laugh out of the performance.

"Still I'm glad Ritsu and Yui passed. I was so worried these last couple of days..." Mugi paused to take a bite of cake. "I feel so much better now."

Yui giggled and flashed the peace sign to the others, "Aw, it was nothing!" then, unable to help herself, she added dramatically, "It was destiny!"

This time Azusa played the Tsukkomi and hit her.

Once again laughter gripped the band. When all had calmed down Mio took out her phone, studying the photo they had taken of themselves with the board. Even in the background, she could clearly make out her number. Mugi and Yui's numbers appeared near the bottom of the frame and-

"Huh?"

"What?" Ritsu asked, adjusting the new yellow headband she had bought at a store nearby.

Mio didn't answer. She was absorbed in the picture. "Uh..."

Now everyone was staring at her.

"Mio? You alright?"

Slowly she looked up at her long-time friend, her expression blank. "Ritsu...What number were you again?"

"21145. Why?"

The black haired beauty had gone pale. She refused to look Ritsu in the eyes as she checked the photo again. She stared so hard the screen might break. Her shoulders slumped and as she looked to her friends Mio realised she'd lost her voice. Speechless she showed the others the photo.

Just above Yui's shoulder the numbers 21143 and 21147 stood out as clear as day. Ritsu's number should have been between them but there was nothing at all. Realisation dawned on them all and slowly all eyes turned on the girl who was quietly tugging at her headband pretending to look innocent.

"Ristu..."

Bearing the brunt of their stares she raised her hands in submission. "Uh...Maybe it's an optical illusion or something?" She laughed alone for a long awkward moment then bowed her head. "I'm sorry..."

Ritsu flinched in expectation of the incoming slap, but when none was forthcoming she realised that this was truly serious. Those rare times when Mio didn't hit her where usually when she was far beyond simply being upset or angry. Looking at her expression she was utterly devastated.

"Why didn't you say something sooner?!" she suddenly exploded, garnering the stares of the other patrons.

"I don't know! I couldn't see because of my hair and-"

"You could have asked one of us to look for you! Why didn't you check?!" Mio was on her feet now, blushing furiously since becoming aware of the stares of other customers.

Ritsu cowered in her seat, as Mio towered over her, "I'm sorry! I thought that if Yui passed then I did too!"

"Hey!" Yui pouted, "I'm not that bad!"

Everyone turned to her in unison and spoke in perfectly harmonized deadpan, "You are."

"Oh..." She quietly sipped her tea.

"Well now what do we do?" Mio asked, frustrated. "What point is there if we don't all go to the same place?"

"What about our back-up choices?" Mugi suggested, the only calm one at the table.

"You mean that silly new place in the mountains that Yui told us about? I thought you were joking when you said that was your second choice?" Mio glanced around noting the blank faces of the others. "Wait...You all put that one down as..." She slumped over the table and groaned.

"We could ask Sawa-chan for help?" Azusa said. She had stayed out of the arguments earlier so now that things had cooled down she thought it best to speak up.

"Will she really let me change my choices this late? The exams are already finished."

"We should ask her anyway. This is our last chance to keep our band together! We must not back down!" Mugi clenched her fist and made an unfittingly stern face. She held the pose for a few seconds before taking a breath and chuckling, "I always wanted to say that!"

* * *

"What?!" Sawako stared at her former students in stunned awe. For starters she wasn't expecting them to barge in during her lunch break and she was definitely not prepared for the 'little favour' they asked of her. "You can't be serious! It's too late to change schools. The exam period is over and the selections have already been made. I'm sorry girls but I can't help you."

"Please! Please Sawa-chan! I'm begging you!"

The bespectacled teacher swatted Yui aside and crossed her arms. "I said no. If you had come to me a little earlier I would be more than happy to sort out this mess but this far down the track there is nothing to be done."

"But...But..." Mio started bawling, right there in the staff room. Other teachers leaned over their desks to see what was going on and even students out in the hall were peeking through the door.

"Come now, it's not that bad. Your first choice is a major university. One of the best in the country! You can get any job you want-"

"I want to be a musician!" Mio screamed. "I don't care about how prestigious the school is...I just...I just want to be with my friends...I want to keep making music with them...Forever..."

Sawako bit her lip and frowned. To be honest she had developed a soft spot for the girls ever since she first met them three years ago. Though they were markedly different from the band she had formed during her time in the Light Music Club, she felt a special connection to the group of misfits she had mentored. She would certainly miss having tea and cake in the club room every day.

"Hmm..."

"Aha! She thought of something!" Ritsu jabbed an accusing finger at her former teacher and smirked.

"What? No! It's just...Well I'll make some calls and see what I can do." The girls made ready to cheer when Sawako cut them off, "But if this works, you girls owe me big time."

Mio was about to protest when Yui leaned past her and cried, "We'll do anything!"

Sawako tried to hide her devilish smile but a demented giggle still escaped her. "Alright then. Why don't you girls go wait in the club room. I'll come find you when I'm done."

* * *

In the end Sawako had ordered them home, having made no progress despite hours of trying. For several days they continued to visit the school, each time finding a tired looking Sawako in her office. On the fourth day, once again holed up in the club room, the girls were having their usual round of tea and cakes when a knock came at the door.

"Yes?" Ritsu called. She had been the club's president and though she had graduated she still acted like it was her room.

Slowly the door opened and a zombie with long brown hair and glasses shuffled into the room, groaning miserably. The girls all screamed as the abomination made its way to their table, snatching up a half empty cup of tea and downing it in one gulp.

Sawako let out a long sigh and smiled weakly. "I'm afraid I have some bad news..."

"No!" Mio instantly went into the foetal position.

"I'm sorry to say this...But you girls are no longer students at this school. You're all going to Kyoani Academy!"


End file.
